A viral TikTok last year, taught people about the pleasure-boosting power of sliding a pillow underneath you during sex. To learn more about the best sex pillows, we spoke with Jenn Mason, founder and owner of WinkWink, a Washington-based, women-owned sex shop, and Dr. Megan Fleming, PhD, Lovehoney Sex and Relationship expert, to get the low down on all things sex pillows.
How do sex pillows work to enhance pleasure?
According to Dr. Fleming (and our own empirical evidence), great sex is all about angles. Sometimes it’s hard to find the angles and sex positions that hit the g-spot or result in an orgasm, or ones that feel comfortable at all in the first place. “Wedge pillows, ramps, and mounts are all positioning aids that are designed to make sex more comfortable and more pleasurable by providing support and positioning for different parts of our bodies,” Mason tells SELF. “These aids provide a firm base so that it’s easier to reach and be in positions during sex.”
Sex wedges, pillows, and ramps also make it easier to try new sex positions and exploring new angles, whether that’s on top, in doggy style, or even side-by-side, says Dr. Fleming. They’re also helpful during missionary position if you and your partner have a significant height difference, and provide more comfortable access for the giver during oral sex.
Can you use a regular pillow as a sex pillow?
If you’re not sure if a sex pillow is for you, both Mason and Dr. Fleming encourage using a firm pillow that you already have to test it out. “[Using a regular pillow] is a great way to start just to have a sense of the difference in the sensation and depth of penetration when you elevate your hips,” Dr. Fleming tells SELF. However, typical pillows for sleeping are too soft to support your bodyweight, so you could also opt for an inexpensive inflatable sex pillow to start out.
What should you look for in a sex pillow?
First, you’ll want to decide whether you want a foam or inflatable pillow. Foam pillows tend to be firm and very durable, but they’re difficult to travel with and present a spatial challenge for smaller homes, rooms, and apartments. Inflatable pillows are ideal for small spaces and travel-friendly options.
Sex position pillows, like any sex toy, come in different shapes and sizes, and some have additional attachments for handcuffs and vibrators or dildos. Wedge pillows are the most common shape and are ideal for propping up smaller parts of the body (like the hips or butt), says Mason. You’ll also find cylindrical, bullet-shaped, or dome-shaped pillows that move with the body more, and larger sex furniture, like ramps or wedge/ramp combinations, which support your entire upper body.
How do you know if a sex pillow is right for you?
Sex pillows can be a great addition to anyone’s sexual wellness arsenal, but especially if you have trouble finding pleasurable positions, need extra back support, or want deeper penetration. Not only do sex pillows enhance pleasure, but they’re also excellent for anyone who has mobility challenges. “For some people, it can be difficult to get into the positions during sex that feel the most pleasurable for them, so pillows are a great way to be able to be in the position that feels the best without putting strain on the body,” says Mason. “So no, they’re not only for fun; they’re also great sexual health aids for anybody who needs a little extra support.”
Above all else, if you opt to try a sex pillow, Dr. Fleming recommends experimenting with it at least twice before deciding it’s not your cup of tea. “Anytime you try something new, you’re doing what we call ‘Spectator’ and observing yourself,” says Dr. Fleming. “You’re more in your head, and not really in the moment in your body. So just give it the college try to see whether or not this is a tool you want to add to your toolbox.”
Here, find 14 of the best sex pillows (that are all expert-approved) from beloved sex health brands like Liberator and Dame, as well as versatile options from sleep retailers like Helix and Casper.
